


Cheribrum

by MorbidOptimist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cherub Biology, Multi, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pseudo-Incest, Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider Moirallegiance, Species Swap, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorbidOptimist/pseuds/MorbidOptimist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships are hard when your species wasn't meant to have any.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> rose, dave, dirk, and roxy are cherubs, and it seems they have a lot of growing up to do.

On a barren swatch of land stretched across a dead planet drifting out in the empty expanses of space, a lone color swirled egg laid nested within a vast crater.    


Within the egg, a tiny being began twitching and writhing as it awoke into sentience. It became aware of a nagging feeling, an instinct that told it to free itself from the warm confines of its shell. With Herculean effort, the infant unfurled its coils to shatter its confines.    


It laid quietly on the ground for some time, unmoving.    


It was a tiny green serpent, although not a kind any culture was likely to recognise; the snake possessed a humanoid head, almost skull like in appearance, and dusting its cheeks were too brightly colored swirls that matched the colors of its shell. Occasionally, a small black and white striped tongue would flicker out to taste the state of the world around it.   


Once again, the creature was struck again by instinctual desire.     


Slowly, two eyes began to open; one a vibrant red, the other, a bright lilac speckled purple.    


Instantly, the creature became aware that it was not a singular being, but two, compressed into a singular body.   


They watched their shared tongue flicker out between their teeth for a while; their infantile mind was delighted by the way it moved and liked how it was striped.   


After a couple moments, they surged forward in a vain attempt to catch the strange wiggling thing and delighted in the fact that they could move.    


The pair began writhing and wriggling around in an effort to gain mastery over their squirmy body until they grew tired.   


Instinctively, they inched back towards their shell, which smelled of safety and familiarity.   


It was ironic, they thought, and at the same time, they specifically found it poetic.   


Startled, the serpent froze.    


They blinked confusedly, and waited.    


Weird, they thought.   


Intriguing, they thought after.    


Vaguely, the pair became aware of their thoughts, and almost of each other, but the pair fell asleep before such progress could be made.   


The infant awoke to a pain under its skin; thoughts from before were already forgotten.    


Hunger, it thought madly, hunger and discontent for it.   


The scent of the candy colored shell beckoned the baby forth, and within a hours, it was gone.   


After consuming their first haven of safety, the pair settled again into sleep.   


Only this time, it did not happen as it had before.   


The red thoughts slept, this the violet half knew, but she herself remained awake, and her thoughts were now purely her own.   


It felt cold and upsetting and the baby hissed in frustration, but there was no change.   


She growled, or tried to; the sputtering clicks were hardly worthy of such an accolade.   


Saddened, the violet half began to wonder about the situation she was in.   


She was alone.    


She was a she.    


The red half, she now knew instinctively, was a he.    


He was her brother and she would never feel him beside her again.   


The situation was no longer jarring for her; the baby was yet incapable of feeling anything too strongly or for very long.    


Contented, she began slithering away from her hatching place; there was nothing here for her any longer, to remain would be suicide, and such a thing was unreasonable to the newborn.    


She didn’t know quite what she was looking for, as she slithered forward, but she knew that it would smell tasty and that she needed to eat it if she wanted to get bigger. Stronger.   


She meandered across the scorched earth until the dusty crater gave way to dead plant matter.   


It tasted awful, but it was better than nothing; she was just starting to get used to the taste when a different scent caught her tongue.    


Curious, she followed it.    


At the bottom on another, slightly smaller crater, the scent of another candy colored egg lingered on the rockbed.    


Naturally, she meandered down to investigate.   


The egg was completely gone, as was its inhabitants, though lingering smells of fizzy orange and berry punch remained, and the baby pouted at the discoveries.      


She flicked her tail angrily and decided to abandon the area.     


After slithering tirelessly to escape the second crater, the baby was exhausted.   


She slithered under the mangled remains of a brick structure, curled up, and went to sleep.   


Almost instantly, the baby was awake once more, and the boy blinked his red eyes in confusion at finding himself nowhere near where he had been before. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dave was getting pretty pissed. 

Well, pissed was an overstatement, because he was a grade A cool kid and cool kids did not get uncool emotions like pissed off or annoyed or happy.  

Dave was half a unit old and he wanted to know who kept messing up his stuff every .612 interstellar space intervals.

He would go to bed and awake to find his stuff definitely not where he had left it, things that were there that weren’t there before, and he would find himself dressed in clothes that he had not been wearing before; he had no idea where the black ribbon cinched dress had even come from. He, like any respectable cool kid, wore his toned long sleeve T and skinny jeans every night. 

Fucking classy, is what it was; classy and cool.

He also wore his super amazing juju sunglasses, which he never took off, and yet, every time he woke up from catching some refreshing snoozes, his shades would be sitting on his desk, and there would be a purple scarf wrapped around his neck.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was scared. 

As far as he knew, there wasn’t another creature on the entire planet besides himself. 

And cool kids did not believe in silly things like ghosts.

Dave looked around at his disordered room and huffed.

He had had enough of flighty ghosts messin with his shit.

So, like any cool kid in his position would do, he pulled out a piece of paper and a package of mostly non nawed on crayons, and drew his poltergeist a strongly lined picture showing the ghost exactly where it could shove it. 

It was a little lewd yes, but that day, he went to bed with a triumphant glow in his chest and a sense of accomplishment he wanted to glue to the wall as a badge of honor.

The glow was promptly extinguished however, when the next night, Dave woke up to find that his ghost had written him back.

And not only that, but the violet scrawling lines had daintily critiqued his drawing skills, as well as outlined and listed several of habits that she presumed he had (and he did, loathe as he was to admit it) and had detailed her extensive thoughts about them.

It continued onto the back of the page.

At the bottom, a small violet colored swirl had been drawn next to the looping initials “R.L.” 

On the page beneath it, R.L. had drawn a horrible rendition of a a figure in a pointy hat holding a star tipped wand juju. 

Naturally, Dave doodled the strange little man getting mad air on a skateboard, and drew in a starry expanse for him to ride off into.

He scrawled a messy “D.S.” in the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose was 3 units old and she was feeling rather content. Her brother had left a new CD on her desk “FILLED WITH dOPE BEATS AND SICK RHYMES, YO,” as he had written on the cover.

She smiled, and gently tapped her claws against the plastic case as she lost herself in thought.

When they had first made contact with each other, it had been a bit dodgy, as Dave had not possessed the knowledge of their species; and she was willing to admit that she had had a bit of fun at his expense by going along with his idea of her being a figment of his imagination for a while.

But he had been so genuinely worried about his mental health, and so utterly willing to go along with her idea to help her locate something to permanently possess so that she could be in a corporeal form, that she had given in, explained, and apologized.     

He had been understandably upset, and things had turned hostile for a while; a game of competitive aggression began that Rose remembered well.  

They had gone out of their way to inform each other that they were giving their sibling the cold shoulder, as they were unable to duke out their problems face to face, so they settled for committing petty annoyances, such as going through and vandalizing each other's belongings, and writing scathing notes for each other to find.

Some things, she admitted silently, had been less petty and downright malicious.

Rose would  wake up to find scratches on her body, and Dave would wake up days later than he should’ve, terrified that the shadows were alive and watching him.

Slowly however, their anger had swirled into something different. More passive, she supposed.

So then they had ignored each other, and pretended nothing odd was occurring.

After half a unit of silence, they had broken down the barrier between them, and quietly asked questions that had gnawed at their shared thinkpan; she asked Dave why he always picked at his wounds. Dave asked Rose why she never ate.

They hadn’t answered each other, and returned quickly to their silence, but things had changed between them; Dave woke up to find his body bandaged and in the clothes he preferred, and then Rose had woken up in a room with all of her things neatly placed for her to sort and place around as she pleased.

It had taken nearly another unit for the tentative truce to become their normal routine.

And then they broke the silence again.

Dave asked her about their kind, about the things in her books, and about the race of beings that had once inhabited their planet.

In response, Rose asked him what the equipment in his room was for, about the nuances of irony, and why he seemed advertant to the notion of taking showers.

By the time they were 3 units old, they had become downright civil, nearly blasphemously so, as far as the history of their species was concerned.

They had been almost fond of each other, in fact.

Dave had still considered her a pain, not that she blamed him any; and had been terribly upset that she didn’t keep to a timely schedule for trading control of their body.

Eventually his frustration twisted into pain, and her brother had begun to withdraw into himself, centered around the idea that she hated him, and thus kept herself awake to make sure he wasn’t around.

Shocked, Rose apologized for the second time in her life, and admitted that her insomnia was not based in malice, but in fear.

She chronically had a difficult time relaxing, which made sleeping an elusive task for her; and in the letter she left him explain it, she had went on to mention that the idea of being asleep was terrifying for her, because she had no idea what happened to her while she was unconscious, and he awake. 

Dave did not mention the situation again after that, so Rose assumed she had been forgiven and life had gone on.

Then, some time later, in a surprising gesture that had left Rose with several alien sensations in her internal air sacks, she found out that Dave had taken it upon himself to relieve her of her problem.   

The CD’s he left for her to listen to were soothing; not by content or rhythm, for one could hardly call error remixes or freestyle rap soothing, but for the simple fact that the music playing in her ears made her feel less alone.

Music, they had discovered, unlocked her ability to relax and let go of her desire for control.

Now, Rose listened to it whenever she was awake, and looked forward to Dave’s newest creations and leaving him a few pages of constructive criticisms and playful teasing about them.

In return, he read her stories, and left his genuine opinions about them scattered between crude drawings and ironic insults decorated around edges of the pages. (He didn’t like admitting it, Rose knew, but he seemed quite fond of her epic about the circle of alien wizards and their band of miscreant cohorts, intent on leaving their old worlds behind to embark into a new universe of their own.)

Rose smiled to herself, decided that it would be a fine time to check up on things, and flipped open her desktop.

She would be forever grateful for her brother’s scavenging expeditions, she thought as she turned the ancient device on; the strange alien created device was far nicer to use than paper.

Her brother also had one, red as opposed to her purple; and the two of them kept a rapport log open while they were awake; it made communication far more invigorating and useful and both of them felt their lives better for it. The fact their respective aspects turned the logs into what passed as realtime conversations was for the most part, a miraculous bonus.  

Between her brother’s time altering capabilities and her own light based seerfold vision, they were quite the cherub, if she did say so herself.

She flicked her tongue contentedly, which had lost its stripes during her growth, and popped open the chat window and began the arduous task of scanning through her brother’s messages.

<tt has logged into chat with Past!TG>

 

(P)TG: SO THERE I WAS  
(P)TG: AND BEFORE YOU SAY  “there you were...”  
(P)TG: dO US BOTH A FAVOR AND GO SUCK ONE OF YOUR POINTY WIZARD HATS  
(P)TG: BECAUSE THERE I WAS ANd IT WAS GREAT  
(P)TG: LIKE IT WAS JUST AN ENTIRE BUILdING THAT ONCE HELd NOTHING BUT THE SICKEST OF BEATS  
(P)TG: ROSE  
(P)TG: THE BEATS ROSE  
(P)TG: THEY WERE SO FUCKING SICK  
(P)TG: I ALMOST HAd TO CALL ONE OF THOSE WEIRd ALIEN dOCTOR THINGS  
(P)TG: dO YOU REMEMBER THE dOCTORS ROSE?  
(P)TG: WASN’T ONE OF YOUR WIZARdS IN ALIEN LOVE WITH A dOCTOR ONCE  
(P)TG: WHERE dO YOU THINK ALL THE dOCTORS WENT?  
(P)TG: WHERE dId ALL THE dOCTORS GO ROSE  
(P)TG: dO YOU THINK THEY WERE KILLEd BY THE INVAdERS  
(P)TG: LIKE THE INVAdERS JUST UP ANd WENT, dAMN THESE BEATS ARE TOO FUCKING SICK GENERAL, WE BETTER GET dOWN IN THERE ANd INVAdE  
(P)TG: PRIVATE YOU FOOL, WE CAN’T INVAdE THEM UNTIL WE GET RId OF THEIR dOCTORS!  
(P)TG: SIR! YOU’RE A GOddAMN GENIUS  
(P)TG: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM PRIVATE NOW GET ME THE PRESIdENT ON THE LINE, WE’VE GOT BEATS TO dEPLOY

The rambling continued for several pages.

Rose ignored the urge to roll her eyes and scrolled a bit further; since her brother tended to ramble on for hyperbolic miles at a time, she tended to skim his logs until she spotted the interesting bits. Providing, of course, that nothing in his messages belayed anything to be concerned about.  

She was about to put off reading her brother’s logs entirely in favor of working on her story when her light based insight told her to scroll to the end of Dave’s log.

Curious, and a bit on edge, she did so.

She wasn’t quite sure what she expected to find, but unfamiliar colored text insulting her brother’s text goodnight to her was beyond anything she could have prepared for.

A small snarl escaped her maw.  
  
tt: who aRe you?  
tt: who the fuck are you, that’s who  
tt: i do believe that i inquiRed fiRst.  
tt: and the amount of fucks i give just DecreaseD.  
tt: say something else, i want to see how less i can care.  
tt: i ask again, please identify youRself  
tt: what’s really in a name? woulD i not be the same person if i were calleD by any other worD  
tt: names themselves are really outDated  
tt: we know who we are, so what Does it matter?    
tt: very well, then i shall RefeR to you as “that oRange waste of space” foR the foReseeable futuRe. and, i might add, as i posses the powers of light, i can foRsee quite a lot.  
tt: if you can see so much, why Don’t /you/ tell me who i am  
tt: why should i need too? did you not just say that you know who you aRe?  
tt: and now that youR name is that oRange waste of space, i do too.  
tt: ruDe  
tt: how woulD you like it if i calleD you “that snarky broaD bitch,” hmm?  
tt: i would feel that youR advances, howeveR flatteRing you may think them to be, aRe laRgely unnecessary at the moment.  
tt: tell me who you aRe this instant and why you felt the need to Read my bRotheR’s peRsonal pesteRlogs befoRe i become displeased.  
tt: nope  
tt: my trap’s sealeD; i am literally more afraiD of my own sock pile than i ever woulD be of you    
tt: anD i am not at all afraiD of socks.  
tt: aRe you quite ceRtain, waste? That was a veRy specific simile to choose. peRhaps there aRe ceRtain implications for choosing it deep within youR psyche.    
tt: tell me youR name and i’ll give you a fRee metaphoRical appointment to my offices.  
tt: stay the fuck away from my brain you snarky bitch  
tt: veRy well; if you want to Remain difficult, my name is Rose. will you part with youRs now?  
tt: things aRe getting RatheR facetious at this point.  
tt: if you do not comply, i shall be foRced to take dRastic measuRes, i hope you undeRstand.  
tt: fuckit, why not.  
tt: the name’s Dirk.  
tt: i figureD you were rose since that reD guy kept talking about you.  
tt: kid really neeDs to figure out how to open up a private chat  
tt: Doesn’t he know that literally anyone can pop in and see this stuff  
tt: anD noboDy neeDs to see yall getting x-rateD on each other btw  
tt: like gooD goD, #tag your porn you freaks  
tt: there are kiDs out there  
tt: how old aRe you?  
tt: i would hate to think my bRotheR was Responsible for the tRaumatization of an infant.    
tt: fuck you, i‘m nearly nine and a half  
tt: false.  
tt: you aRe 3 at the most, the same as i  
tt: yeah actually, how’D you know  
tt: seeR poweR.  
tt: neat  
tt: isn’t it?  
tt: what else can you Do?  
tt: tell me diRk, what exactly can _you_ do?


	4. Chapter 4

<TG has logged into chat with future!tt>

TG: SUP LALONdE, I GOT A QUESTION  
(f)tt: oh? well don’t keep me in suspense, ask away.   
TG: HAVE YOU PICKEd UP ANY NEW HOBBIES LATELY  
(f)tt: i have been indulging in a few new passtimes yes, but nothing i would go so faR as to label a hobby  
(f)tt: im a veRy busy giRl im afRaid; these soliloquies won’t wRite themselves   
TG: SO YOU dId’NT CONSTRUCT THE ROBOT OUTSIDE ANd INSTRUCT IT TO KICK MY ASS?  
(f)tt: i beg youR paRdon?   
TG: THE ROBOT ROSE  
TG: THE ROBOT OUTSIdE THAT JUST KICKEd MY ASS  
TG: THAT ROBOT dOES NOT CARE ABOUT PARdONS ANd RESPECTING GOOd FAIRING FARMERS JUST TRYING TO TENd TO THEIR CROPS OF ILL BEATS  
TG: IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE I WAS ON THE ROOF ANd dAMNEd NEAR KILLEd ME SIX dIFFRENT WAYS TO OUR MOLTINGdAY  
(f)tt: what did it look like   
TG: IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S OUTSIdE JUST WAITING TO SLICE MY TENdER ASS TO RIBBONS AGAIN IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE  
(f)tt: i mean, does the Robot look like an alien? one of the old planetaRy inhabitants peRhaps?  
TG: NO, IT LOOKS LIKE A CHERUB  
TG: IT’S EVEN GOT A GREEN COATING  
TG: ACTUALLY IT LOOKS PRETTY SNAZZY  
TG: IF IT JUST HANd’T TRIEd TO MAKE MINCEMEAT OUT OF ME, I’d PRObabLY BE IMPRESSEd  
(f)tt: what coloR weRe the swiRls on theiR face?  
TG: ORANGE  
TG: WHY, YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHERE THIS TEN TON TIN CAN MAN CAME FROM?  
(f)tt: i’m afRaid i do in fact  
(f)tt: do you want to step back in time to tell me to talk to him to pRevent this outcome fRom occuRRing?  
TG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TALK TO HIM  
TG: WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO  
(f)tt: i suppose you weRe going to find out eventually,  
(f)tt: and as he went afteR you fiRst i don’t see the haRm in being the one to tell you;  
(f)tt: his name is diRk  
(f)tt: he’s my fRiend  
TG: I THOUGHT YOU SAId WE COULdN’T MAKE FRIENdS  
(f)tt: i never said that ouR species was incapable of doing so, just,  
(f)tt: it’s just less likely, is all  
(f)tt: and anyway, he’s not completely hoRRible when you get to know him  
(f)tt: mostly hoRRible; but not completely   
(f)tt: his chumhandle is timaeustestifieD  
(f)tt: i Recommend that you use it  
TG: OH I’LL USE IT ALRIGHT  
TG: I’M GOING TO SENd THAT PRICK MY SWEETEST FUCKING REGARdS  
TG: THAT EGGLAYER IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING SICK OF ME FROM HOW MUCH I’M GOING TO BE MESSAGING HIM  
TG: HE dESREVES TO KNOW JUST HOW MUCH OF A TOOL HE IS FOR JUMPING A GUY WITH A METAL MAN WITHOUT ANY WARNING LIKE A  
TG: (HEY ROSE WHAT WAS THAT MANBEAST WHO WENT AROUNd BREAKING INTO PEOPLES HOUSES TO LEAVE THEM SHIT IN THEIR SOCKS)  
(f)tt: i believe his full name was saint nickolusus satan claws  
TG: LIKE SOME FUCKING SATAN CLAWS  
(f)tt: yes, i can see why that would make one upset  
TG: UPSET NOTHING  
TG: ALL I’M GOING TO SAY, IS WHEN YOU WAKE UP,  
TG: YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU HAdN’T, ANd THAT’S HIS FAULT NOT MINE

<TG has disconnected from the chat>

* * *

 

<tt has logged into chat with tt>

``tt: so is there a Reason you sent a Replica of youRself to fight my bRotheR in moRtal combat, or weRe you just excited to meet him?  
tt: why hello to you too, yeah i’m fine thanks; you know, same olD same olD, always glaD you care.  
tt: diRk.  
t: you could have seRiously huRt him  
tt: you _did_ seRiously huRt him,   
tt: i woke up with moRe of my blood outside of my body than in it; that is not a good a thing.  
tt: look, the kiD Deserves a fighting chance  
tt: what are you infeRRing   
tt: you maDe him too soft  
tt: all that coDDling and shit is making him weaker  
tt: Do you _want_ to preDominate?  
tt: i… hadn’t considered that  
tt: of course you DiDn’t  
tt: but that’s ok.   
tt: i’m going to take one for team here rose, because i’m your frienD, anD i Do the shit noboDy else can.  
tt: and what exactly do you think you’Re going to be doing?  
tt: why, i’m going to train him of course.  
tt: when it comes to sworDsmanship, i’m simply the best there is  
tt: and how will swoRdsmanship help my bRotheR?  
tt: training ain’t starDust and solarrays sunshine, he’s going to get hurt, and get hurt a lot  
tt: you’re going to have to give up that Dream of being miss universe btw  
tt: shit’s going to scar   
tt: unless of course he figures out how to fucking DoDge, that woulD be a miracle.  
tt: have either of you ever sparreD before?   
tt: i cannot believe how long it took him to fucking Draw his weapon. or realise he haD to use it.  
tt: to tell you the truth, theRe isn’t much we _can_ spaRR with on this planet.   
tt: diRk, pRomise me that whateveR you do, that you won’t push him too haRd.   
tt: if you bReak him i won’t _eveR_ foRgive you.  
tt: you know that Right?  
tt: Don’t worry, the fiRst bot was just a test to gauge where his skill levels are.  
tt: i promise the riDe is slow and tenDer from here.  
tt: well, i’m suRe the Ride will get a bit bouncieR when my bRotheR wakes up;  
tt: what are you saying  
tt: that i gave him youR handle  
tt: you what  
tt: he’s veRy upset at you by the way,  
tt: so you might want to get a jumpstaRt on leaRning how to say an apology  
tt: it was veRy unspoRting on you to engage him without waRning  
tt: in battle there is no warning, you Defeat your enemy by any means you have at your Disposal.  
tt: just keep in mind that he is not youR enemy diRk, but youR _pupil_.   
tt: he can’t leaRn the Rules if you neveR botheR to tell him any  
tt: yeah yeah whatever,  
tt: go eat a juju or something you bleeDing heart.

 

<tt has logged out of chat>

 


	5. Chapter 5

 <tt has logged into chat with tt>

`` tt: so i was studying your planet’s ancient cultures and i think i founD the only thing worthwhile on your shitty planet. 

tt: is it dave? 

tt: fuck no, dave sucks. 

tt: what about me; am i worthwhile dirk? 

tt: Definitely not. 

tt: no look, 

tt: i’m talking about horses rose, the sweet sweet horses that useD to gallop into the sunsets whenever the fuck they pleaseD 

tt: they haD hooves of steel and their boDies were covereD in fur and they haD the longest and most magnificent heads of hair on any beast. 

tt: so they just ran arounD, eating stuff and frolicking 

tt: what even /is/ frolicking 

tt: fucking sweet it was it was 

tt: ahh yes, the mammals of equine natuRes were ceRtainly amusing to be sure; i find myself moRe fond the ancient denizens of the deep. 

tt: did you know that theRe once was a species of cReatuRe, laRge as anything, that dRifted thRoughout the wateRs like a laRge blanket, which slowly digested whateveR had the gReat misfoRtune to get stuck on theiR skin; being eaten alive would be hoRRible enough i’d imagine, but to be devouRed so slowly must have been a fate woRse than death itself. 

tt: fascinating. 

tt: i think you mean Disgusting. I am never using a blanket again goDDamnit. 

tt: you’Re welcome. 

 <tt has logged out of the chat>

``tt: you fucking shit  ` `

 


	6. Chapter 6

<TG has logged into the chat>

TG: SO HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLd ME WHEN YOU MAdE A FRIENd  
(f)tt: aRe we talking about diRk again?   
(f)tt: I was not awaRe that I needed youR peRmission to make anyone’s acquaintance   
TG: LOOK ALL I’M SAYING IS  
TG: YOU dIdN’T THINK THAT A HEAds UP OR A MEMO ABOUT THERE BEING ANOTHER PERSON TO TALK TO WAS WORTH MENTIONING TO YOUR OWN BRO  
TG: YOU COULd BREAK A GUY’S FEELINGS THAT WAY ROSE  
(f)tt: do you have feelings foR me dave?   
TG: dON’t BE dISGUSTING  
TG: COOL KIdS dONT HAVE FEELINGS  
TG: WHY  
TG: dO YOU HAVE FEELINGS  
TG: ARE YOU dROWNING IN THE FEELS  
TG: AS US COOL KIdS SAY  
(f)tt: yes  
TG: REALLY?   
(f)tt: of couRse   
(f)tt: why sometimes, i have as many as six whole feelings a day  
(f)tt: the stRain is insuRmountable   
(f)tt: pity me bRotheR  
TG: OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN  
(f)tt: so do you foRgive me foR not telling you about diRk?  
TG: YEAH I GUESS SO  
TG: BUT I’M STILL GOING TO LEAVE YOUR NEXT FIC A BAD REVIEW   
(f)tt: what? Why?  
TG: CAUSE YOU SUNK MY OTP YOU MONSTER  
(f)tt: please don’t tell me willy joe and little heff weRe youR otp  
TG: YOU KNOW  
TG: I THINK IM GOING TO MAKE A NEW COMIC  
(f)tt: please don’t  
TG: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF   
TG: EXPECT IT ON YOUR dESK TOMORROW  
(f)tt: *gRoans*  
TG: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF  
(f)tt: *gRoans*  
TG: EXPECT IT ON YOUR dESK TOMORROW  
(f)tt: is that what these scribbles aRe scatteRed acRoss my desk?  
TG: THEY'RE ART ROSE  
TG: PURE GENIUS MAdE ART  
TG: AND YOUR WELCOME  
(f)tt: tRuely i am the luckiest giRl in the woRld to Receive such a gift  
(f)tt: peRhaps i'll make a Reference to them in my next novella  
TG: MAKE SURE YOU MENTION HOW HELLA JEFF IS  
(f)tt: natuRally.  
TG: NICE


	7. Chapter 7

 <tt has logged into the chat>

``tt: so... what’s youR sister like?   
tt: what, is my company not gooD enough for you anymore? i’m hurt lalonDe; all two of my feelings are feeling the burn.   
tt: i’ve tried seaRching foR heR with my poweRs, but she…   
tt: Remains elusive.   
tt: that woulD be because she’s voiD hatcheD. even _i_  have trouble contacting her sometimes, and she literally shares a boDy with me.   
tt: what’s heR name?   
tt: what Does it matter?   
tt: oh come on diRk, don’t be a hatchling about it. i intRoduced you to my sibling.  
tt: only because the kiD woulD have freakeD out about me otherwise.   
tt: im pretty sure that brother of yours has some maD coDependency issues, you shoulD probably go analyze that or something.  
tt: of couRse he has codependency issues diRk, he’s a cheRub. we _all_  have those.  
tt: can you honestly tell me, that your peRsistent denial to let your sisteR inteRact with me is anything but an oveRcompensational uRge to both protect heR fRom potential haRm and to, more impoRtantly, make suRe no one ever has heR but youRself?   
tt: can you tell me, in any foRm, that you would not Rend the univeRses apaRt to keep anything fRom happening to heR?   
tt: ...oR do the same to keep anything from taking heR away from you?  
tt: can you Really blame another cheRub for feeling the same for theiR own hatchmate?  
tt: if anything eveR tRied to take dave away fRom me, i would liteRally kill everything in eveRy univeRse, Rip apart the fabRic of Reality itself, and then end my own existence.  
tt: and i know you diRk,   
tt: i know for a fact that you would do the same for youR sisteR.  
tt: shit.  
tt: i didn’t mean to say any of that.  
tt: can we pRetend i neveR said any of that?  
tt: diRk?  
tt: diRk are you still there? 

 


	8. Chapter 8

tt: ahh, theRe you aRe. i was wondeRing when i would heaR fRom you again   
tt: i take things are going well between you and Roxy so faR?   
tt: …   
tt: fuck you lalonDe.    
tt: fuck you, anD,   
tt: fuck me too.    
tt: my, that’s a little foRward don’t you think?   
tt: didn’t your fatheR pass along genetics of pRecuRsoRy?    
tt: why, i’m not even in my final foRm! whatever will ouR siblings think?   
tt: stop being an ass and just accept my shitty thanks alreaDy    
tt: as you wish.   
tt: would this be an awkwaRd time to ask foR youR sisteR’s chumhandle?   
tt: you can ask, but i’m only going to tell you if you take a hit of your own starDust.    
tt: what do you mean?   
tt: i mean, you shoulD tell Dave how you feel; workeD for me anD roxy   
tt: just get that shit official so you two can stop freaking out all the time.   
tt: him especially.    
tt: rose?    
tt: rose Don’t ignore me. I’ll cry    
tt: i’ll cry tears of happiness rose; is that really something you can live with? how will you look at yourself in the morning rose? knowing that you made my Day. my lifespan.    
tt: how will you stanD yourself?   
tt: there goes rose, they’ll say, the snarky Dame that made that Douchebag in the pointy shaDes all overjoyeD   
tt: rose?   
tt: Damnit talk to me. you know my ego can’t stanD getting ignoreD    
tt: i can’t.    
tt: I can’t tell him diRk.    
tt: I’ve tried, so many times, but    
tt: i can’t.   
tt: and why can’t you?   
tt: i’m…    
tt: not veRy good at saying things diRectly. hoRRible at it, in fact.   
tt: you told me just fine.   
tt: ahh yes, but you aRe haRdly dave now aRe you?   
tt: so, tell him non Directly then.   
tt: but like, Directly non-Directly. cause the usual shit between you two is so nauseatingly close already that i Don’t think Doing anything otherwise will make any sort of impression on him.   
tt: trust me on this, i was hatcheD in the aspect of heart   
tt: …    
tt: tell me, mR. stRideR, what did you have in mind? 


	9. Chapter 9

Dave was pissed.  
He was tense from head to toeclaws, and his molars ground together without his consent. He clicked involuntarily and counted backwards by different rationales and when that failed to settle his nerves he dug his claws into his desk and hissed.  
He had been politely dealing with everything, and by politely dealing he meant utterly ignoring, but this was the final straw.  
How dare she.

 <TG has logged into chat with future!tt>

TG: HOW dARE YOU   
(f)tt: if this is about how i kill off loRd fRigglish in the next chapteR you aRe a bit eaRly ,  
(f)tt: i haven’t finished wRiting it yet.  
(f)tt: but i have been foReshadowing it foR quite some time now, so i can’t see how that might come as a shock.  
(f)tt: unless of couRse, as a Result of this conveRsation, i decide to fuck with you and kill heR off in some bizaRRe manneR that does not fit heR chaRacteR aRc, which would then make youR Rage undeRstandable.   
TG: FORGET YOUR dUMB WIZARd BULLSHIT ROSE  
TG: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M ANGRY ABOUT YOU HARLOT  
TG: YOU’RE A GOddAMN dELILAH   
TG: ANd I GUESS THAT MAKES ME SAMSON  
TG: LIKE SHIT I GUESS I MIGHT AS WELL GET THE SCISSORS   
TG: HANG TIGHT BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO MAKE A WIG FOR SOME SORRY ASSHOLE   
TG: WHICH I GUESS IS ALSO ME  
(f)tt: dave what aRe you Ranting about.   
TG: YOU’VE MAdE ME THE ASSHOLE ROSE  
TG: I AM WEARING THE ASSHOLE WIG BECAUSE I AM THE SORRY ASSHOLE ANd IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT  
TG: HAVE YOU ANY HEART  
TG: -THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION SIS-  
TG: I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN GETTING MORE HEART THAN YOU KNOW WHAT TO dO WITH IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN  
TG: AND I KNOW THAT YOU dO;  
TG: IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH SOME ORANGESOdA dOUCHEBAG THAT’S FINE  
TG: I dON’T FUCKING CARE  
TG: BUT YOU dIdN’T TELL ME  
TG: YOU’VE BEEN TALKING TO THIS GUY FOR WEEKS AND YOU NEVER TOLd ME?  
(f)tt: i told you he existed eventually.   
TG: YEAH, WEEKS LATER! WHEN A ROBOT TRIEd TO FILLET ME.   
TG: I THOUGHT YOU SAId THAT US CHERUBS NEVER TALKEd WITH OUR OWN KINd, LIKE WHAT HAPPENEd TO THAT?  
TG: dO YOU REMEMBER THAT ROSE?  
(f)tt: fiRst of all,  
(f)tt: it is entiRely my choice as to whom i decide to conveRse with bRotheR.  
TG: LOOK I ALREAdY SAId IF YOU WANT TO CHAT WITH SOME TAILHOUNdING PERVERT IN SHITTY SHAdES THAT’S YOUR BUSINESS  
TG: BUT YOU FUCKING LET HIM ILLUSTRATE YOUR STORIES ROSE  
TG: YOU LET HIM REAd YOUR WORK  
TG: A WORK YOU NEVER TOLd ME YOU WERE WORKING ON MIGHT I Add  
TG: AND YOU LET HIM VANdALISE IT   
TG: THAT’S _MY_ THING  
TG: I REFUSE TO LET YOU REPLACE ME WITH SOME SECONd RATE HACK  
TG: I MEAN-  
TG: MY ART SKILLS ARE WAY BETTER THAN HIS  
TG: WELL, NOT REALLY  
TG: MY ART IS SHITTY YEAH, I’LL AdMIT TO THAT, BUT NO ONE CAN BRING YOUR WORK TO LIFE WITH SHITTY .JPEGS LIKE I dO  
TG: HE CAN’T APPRECIATE YOUR GENIUS LIKE I CAN  
(f)tt: is that what you’Re woRRied about dave?  
(f)tt: that i want to Replace you?  
TG: I dON’T MEAN IT LIKE _THAT_  
TG: GOddAMNIT ROSE GET YOUR MINd OUT OF THE BLACKHOLES FOR FIVE MINUTES WILL YOU  
TG: SHIT SEE? THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT  
TG: LOOK AT WHAT THAT ASSHOLE HAS dONE TO YOU  
(f)tt: dave  
(f)tt: my deaR bRotheR  
(f)tt: please take a few deep bReaths, you’Re likely to bReak youR desk at this Rate, and if you do, it shall take you weeks to locate anotheR one since you shall Refuse my assistance to help you locate a Replacement. 

 

Dave snarled at his screen; stupid seers. He hated how she knew how much this was affecting him. He took a few hissing breaths and tried count backwards while he focused on the lavender words appearing before him.

 

(f)tt: yes, i have been talking with diRk  
(f)tt: and yes, he and i have talked about a wide Range of subjects, including those of a moRe matuRe natuRe.   
(f)tt: ...   
(f)tt: i thought you would find the illustRated shoRt stoRy amusing; especially as he shaRes youR love for iRony. if i had known it was a soRe spot, i would have declined his offeR to let him illustRate it foR me. but as it was a gift, i could not, by natuRe, infoRm you of its existence pRioR to leaving it on youR desk.   
(f)tt: i was soRt of hoping that the gift would seRve as something of a metaphoRical olive bRanch between you two.  
TG: WELL HE CAN TAKE THAT OLIVE BRANCH AND SHOVE IT UP HIS   
(f)tt: please don’t get lewd dave.   
TG: WHY NOT? YOU CERTAINLY HAVE  
TG: CAN’T GET MORE LEWd THAN THAT STORY SIS   
TG: FUCKING HAND HOLDING.   
TG: REALLY  
(f)tt: wait   
(f)tt: you don’t want to hold my hand?   
(f)tt: have i been Reading you wRong all these units?   
(f)tt: well then, yes i can see now why you’d be upset.   
TG: WAIT WHAT  
TG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
(f)tt: you mean, you Really didn’t Realise?  
(f)tt: oh.   
(f)tt: oh shit.   
TG: OH SHIT WHAT ROSE  
(f)tt: that stoRy was about us dave. I wRote it about us. we weRe the staRs.   
(f)tt: did the dRawing not convey it pRopeRly?   
(f)tt: my nail paint and youR scaRs?  
(f)tt: peRhaps i should have done away with the pRetenses and used ouR actual names.   
(f)tt: though i admit i was hesitant to do so because, well, honestly bRotheR i was woRRied that such a shameless and fRankly downRight pResumptuous token of lewd mateRial would make you think less of me.  
TG: THE STORY WAS ABOUT US?  
(f)tt: did you actually Read it? or did you take one look at the oRange illustRations and flip youR shit?   
(f)tt: oh, i should have known betteR.   
(f)tt: i don't know how i thought that this could be a good idea.   
TG: YOU WROTE A STORY WHERE WE  
TG: HELD HANdS!?  
(f)tt: i cannot apologize for my feelings; i refuse.  
(f)tt: but i understand if you’re repulsed by them.  
(f)tt: it really isn't in our species nature after all.  
(f)tt: i guess i just hoped,  
(f)tt: im sorry, i can’t talk about this anymore right now. I need a minute to  
TG: I WOULd HOLd YOUR HANd!  
(f)tt: wait.   
(f)tt: you...   
(f)tt: you would?  
TG: ROSE, IF I COULd  
TG: IF  
TG: IF YOU’d LET ME I MEAN  
TG: I WOULd HOLd BOTH YOUR HANDS  
TG: -ASSUMING OF COURSE THAT WE BOTH HAd HANdS TO HOLd AT THE SAME TIME-  
TG: AND MAYBE EVEN  
TG: HOLD THEM SO  
(f)tt: hold them how?  
(f)tt: how would you hold them dave?  
TG: TENDERLY.   
TG: THAT’S HOW  
TG: AND  
TG: I MEAN, IF YOU EVER WANTEd TO GET KINKY  
TG: LIKE REALLY dOWN AND dIRTY I’d  
TG: WAIT, IS THIS OK TO SAY?  
TG: SHITS MOVING FASTER THAN A BROKEN WATER BARRIER  
TG: I FEEL LIKE I SHOULd AT LEAST MAKE YOU A NEW MIXEdTAPE Or SOMETHING  
(f)tt: dave, if you don't tell me what you would do with me in excRuciating detail, Right this very moment, i don't think i shall eveR be able to foRgive you.  
(f)tt: so in the woRds of ouR planet’s ancient inhabitants,   
(f)tt: talk diRty to me bRotheR.  
(f)tt: tell me just how peRveRted foR me you would be.  
TG: WELL HOW COULD ANY COLdBLOOdEd BOY SAY NO TO THAT?  
TG: BETTER HOLd YOUR bREATH THEN SIS  
TG: CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO LAY IT dDOWN HEAVY LIKE A WELL TIMEd BASS dROP.  
(f)tt: heavy is good, i like it heavy. go on,  
TG: YOU’d BE SITTING IN YOUR ROOM RIGHT  
TG: WEARING YOUR dRESS ANd YOUR JUJU LIKE YOU ALWAYS dO  
TG: ANd I’d KNOCK ON YOUR dOOR AND YOU’d GET UP TO ANSWER IT   
(f)tt: you would no doubt be holding one of your newest compositions for me to sample  
TG: dAMN RIGHT I WOULd  
TG: SO I’D GIVE YOU THE Cd   
(f)tt: natuRally, i would have to listen to it then and there; of couRse i wouldn’t be so Rude as to shoo you away afteR you’d just gone through all the effoRt of coming to see me, so you’d be invited to listen with me.   
TG: I WOULdN’T KNOW WHERE TO SIT, BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE THE ONE CHAIR IN YOUR ROOM  
TG: SO I WOUld HAVE TO STANd NEXT TO YOU INSTEAd  
(f)tt: yes, i would like that  
TG: IF YOU LIKEd THAT YOU’d dEFINITELY LIKE THE NEXT PART  
TG: I’D HOLD YOUR HAND SO THAT OUR FINGERS LACED TOGETHER, ALL FITTING PERFECTLY LIKE COGS IN A CLOCK  
TG: FLEAS IN A POD  
(f)tt: wait, why would fleas be in a pod?  
(f)tt: i thought maRine Mammals weRe gRouped in pods  
TG: FORGET THE MAMMALS  
TG: WHAT’S THIS?  
TG: IT’S ONLY US NOW!  
TG: ANd THE SWEET SWEET FEEL OF OUR TENdER GRASPING dIGITS   
(f)tt: ...  
TG: SHIT WAS THAT TOO MUCH  
TG: I CAN REWINd THE TRACK  
TG: GIVE YOU A SMOOTHER MELOdY  
(f)tt: dave...   
(f)tt: would you caRe to join me... in a pRivate chat?  
(f)tt: i’m a little… neRvous, baRing my feelings out heRe in this open one  
(f)tt: i might need… _consoling_  
TG: (HELLS TO THE YES)

 < tt has logged out of the chat >   


< TG has logged out of the chat >


	10. Chapter 10

<TG has lodded into chat with TG>

TG: OH HEY  
TG: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU  
TG: rOXY!  
TG: NICE TO MEET YOU!  
TG: OH  
TG: dIRK’S SIS, RIGHT?  
TG: ROSE MENTIONEd YOU A FEW TIMES  
TG: AREN’T YOU SUPPOSEd TO BE LIKE  
TG: SUPER HARd TO FINd  
TG: HEH  
TG: YEAH  
TG: COOL  
TG: SOrrY FOr BArGING IN ON YOU LIKE THIS BUT  
TG: I WAS HOPING YOU’D BE COOL TO CHAT WITH   
TG: I MEAN  
TG: I GUESS  
TG: THANKS! :)  
TG: NO PROB  
TG: SO WHAT’S UP  
TG: WELL  
TG: IDK rEALLY  
TG: NOBODY’S rEALLY LET ME TALK TO THEM BEFOrE  
TG: YOU MEAN dIRK?  
TG: YEAH; HE’S A KIND OF LONEr KIND OF GUY  
TG: HONESTLY HE TrEATS YOUr BODYMATE LIKE SHE’S HIS BODYMATE MOrE THAN HE TrEATS ME LIKE HIS  
TG: WHICH IS PrOLLY WHY I’M CHATTING TO YOU FIrST INSTEAD OF HEr  
TG: dON’T GO BLAMIN YOUR BRO’S SHENANIGANS ON MY SISTER  
TG: ROSE IS HELLA SWEET  
TG: AND SMART  
TG: AND SHE'S ACTUALLY BEEN TRYIN TO FINd YOU FOR LIKE  
TG: HALF A INTERSTELLAR UNIT NOW   
TG: I KNOW  
TG: SHE’S rEALLY…  
TG: PErSISTENT, ISN’T SHE?  
TG: I’VE BEEN WATCHING HEr FOR A LONG TIME NOW  
TG: HEr WIZArD STOrIES ArE rEALLY GOOD!  
TG: I’VE… ACTUALLY WrITTEN SOME STOrIES BASED ON THOSE STOrIES  
TG: LIKE… FAN STOrIES, Or SOMETHING  
TG: YOU SHOULd SENd THEM TO HER  
TG: SHE’d REALLY LIKE THAT I THINK  
TG: YEAH?  
TG: YEAH!  
TG: HMMM  
TG: YOU KNOW WHAT?  
TG: MAYBE I WILL!  
TG: THANKS DAVE! I APPrECIATE THE SUGGESTION  
TG: NO PROB  
TG: YOU KNOW WHAT?  
TG: YOU’RE A LOT COOLER THEN YOUR dUMB BRO  
TG: (PLEASE TELL HIM I SAId THAT BTW)  
TG: WE CAN CHAT WHENEVER IF YOU WANT  
TG: :D


	11. Chapter 11

tt: They waited, eager bReathed, as the tadpole began to Rise and gRow a long, magnificently billowous tail.   
tt: Thus, when the effervescent glow of the genesis amphibian overcast the group with multi color hues of radiant splendor... |   
TG: THE NEW UNIVErSE WAS BOrN!!! :D  
tt: oh! it would appeaR as tho a fabled fan has slipped in thRough my dooRs to gReet me   
tt: hello Roxy, i pResume.   
TG: HEH    
TG: HI   
TG: SOrrY BOUT BUrSTING IN ON YOU LIKE THIS   
TG: THAT’S KINDA MY THING   
tt: inteResting, youR quiRk beaRs Resemblance to my bRotheR’s,  
tt: while also being an inveRse to mine own.   
tt: how peculiaR   
TG: IT IS?   
TG: :o   
tt: peRhaps it isn’t. i don’t Really have a gReateR sample size to gauge fRom, but it seems like a foRtuitous coincidence, does it not?   
TG: FOrTUITOUS?   
tt: foRgive me, please.   
tt: as diRk will Readily attest i’m somekind of pRomiscuous on the best of occasions. it’s something of a chaRacteR flaw, i’m suRe.   
tt: feel fRee to call me out on it, should i eveR make you uncomfoRtable Roxy deaR.   
TG: :|   
tt: is something wRong?   
tt: i do hope i haven’t oveRstepped myself alReady.   
TG: YOU KNOW.   
TG: I WANTED TO BE ALL FrIENDLY  
TG: GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT   
TG: CAUSE YOUr HATCHMATE IS HELLA ADOrBS AND HE SAID YOU TrEAT HIM NICE   
tt: but?   
TG: BUT I THINK I rEALLY HATE YOU :|   
TG: ITS YOUr FAULT DIrK WONT TALK TO ME ANYMOrE   
TG: IVE rEAD HOW YOU NEEDLE HIM ABOUT ME   
TG: IVE rEAD THE STOrIES THAT YOU MAKE  
TG: I THINK   
TG: UNDEr DIFFErENT CIrCUMSTANCES   
TG: WE COULD HAVE BEEN FrIENDS  
tt: we can still be fRiends!!   
tt: please Roxy, just tell me what’s happened,   
tt: i swear i’ll do anything in my poweR to fix it and set things Right between you and i.  
tt: please   
tt: i’ve waited so long to meet you   
TG: …   
TG: FINE.   
TG: YOU rEALLY WANNA KNOW?   
TG: BEFOrE YOU CAME ALONG IT WAS JUST ME AND DIrK   
TG: EVErYTHING WAS HOW IT GOES FOR MOST CHEruBS   
TG: HE PrETENDED I DIDN’T EXIST   
TG: AND I PESTErED HIM ANYWAY TO KEEP EACH OTHEr COMPANY  
TG: AND THEN HE FOUND YOU   
TG: YOU AND DAVE   
TG: HE HAS THE HOTS FOr DAVE   
TG: DID YOU KNOW THAT rOSE?   
TG: HE DOESN'T CArE ABOUT YOU AT ALL   
TG: HE’S NOT INTO GIrLS   
TG: IN ANY WEIrD ALIEN rOMANCE WAY YOU INVENTED   
TG: WHICH I LOVE BTW   
TG: GAH I HATE THAT YOU’rE MY FAVOrITE AUTHOr   
TG: SO I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU’rE MY HATECrUSH?   
TG: CEPT LIKE   
TG: PLATONICALLY   
tt: platonic hate?   
TG: YEAH. :|   
tt: that…   
tt: i dont know what to think about that.   
tt: i didn’t plan foR that kind of outcome,,   
tt: its fine.   
tt: we can still be fRiends.   
tt: in time we can smooth things oveR, and things will be Right   
TG: MAYBE? BUT PrOLLY NOT TBH   
tt: i’ll give you all the insideR’s infoRmation about my novels that you could eveR want to know if you agRee not to disappeaR again foReveR.   
TG: DEAL  
tt: :)   
>


	12. Chapter 12

P:tt: soRRy to inteRRupt, bRotheR deaRest   
P:tt: but i am making do on that oath in infoRm you of wheneveR i make contact with another living entity.   
TG: SHIT MAN IS IT GHOSTS   
P:tt: in a manneR of speaking   
P:tt: yes   
P:tt: :)   
P:tt: i met Roxy.   
TG: OH   
P:tt: oh?   
P:tt: what do you mean oh?   
TG: JUST MEANT OH IS ALL   
P:tt: i didn’t expect any decrees of oveRjubilation on youR paRt in tRuth, but, only oh?   
P:tt: does this matteR tRuly fall so beneath youR attentions?   
P:tt: afteR ouR dicouRse of diRk, i thought this matteR would have been moRe of an inteRest of you   
TG: OF COURSE IT INTERESTS ME BABE   
TG: IM YOUR BRO   
TG: I JUST WASN’T SURPRISEd SHE TALKEd TO YOU IS ALL   
tt: why were you not surpRised dave?   
TG: CAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLd HER TO TALK TO YOU   
P:tt: ...   
P:tt: i can’t believe you.   
TG: I KNOW RIGHT?   
TG: I’M JUST AWESOME AT BEING YOUR WINGED BENEVOLENT SERPENT   
TG: WINGED BRO FOR SHORT  
TG: WINGBRO B)   
P:tt: afteR all that fuss and fighting,,   
P:tt: eveRything you put us thRough, about diRk,  
P:tt: you mean to tell me   
P:tt: that youR * fiRst * Reaction, to communicating with the * one * cheRub i caRed most about talking to   
P:tt: /wasn’t/   
P:tt: to contact me Right away?   
P:tt: if not immediately?   
TG: BO   
TG: SHIT. AM I IN TROUBLE?   
P:tt: Dave S. Strider, If You Do Not Want To Lose Your Moirailtionship Status, Effective Immediately, You Will Join Me in a Private Chat, And Discuss What You Did Wrong And How You Will Make It Up To Me.   
TG: YES MAM   
P:tt: later   
P:tt: LATER????   
P:tt: later. at the moment, luckily enough for you brotheR deaR, i need you.   
TG: OH?   
P:tt: you...may want to avoid that word for awhile bRotheR. just saying.   
P:tt: RIGHT. UM.   
TG: WHAT’S WRONG?   
P:tt: she hates me. :<   
TG: ROXY HATES YOU???   
TG: THAT’S NOT SO BAd, RIGHT?   
P:tt: platonically.   
TG: ...AH. WELL THEN.   
TG: YOU CAN FLATTER HER INTO A BETTER SQUARE IN NO TIME   
TG: TRUST ME ROSE, ONCE SHE GETS OVER THE WHOLE BEING MAD AT YOU FOR INSPIRING DIRK TO TELL HER HIS TRUE FEELINGS OR LACK THEREOF FOR HER SHE’LL SEE HOW AWESOME YOU ARE AND BE WRAPPED AROUND YOU LIKE THAT BALL AND CHAIN WE USED TO USE ON EACH OTHER BACK WHEN I WAS UPSET YOU WEREN'T REALLY A GHOST.   
TG: YESSIRY  
TG: JUST GONNA SEE ALL THOSE STORIES YOU WRITE AND REMEMBER HOW MUCH SHE LOVES WIZARdS AND CATS AND HOW COOL SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE GROWING UP AND HOW SHE WATCHEd IT ALL TOO NERVOUS TO SAY A WORd.  
P:tt: you Really think so?   
TG: I HOPE NOT.   
P:tt: ???   
P:tt: explain.   
TG: HOLY SHIT ROSE   
TG: HOW MANY WEIRd CRUSH CORNERS dO YOU NEEd?  
TG: ISN’T ME ANd dIRK ENOUGH??   
P:tt: dave, i don’t have any soRt of cRush on diRk, platonically or otheRwise.   
P:tt: even if i did, * i’m * not the one he’s inteRested in, accoRding to our new void-infused fRiend.   
TG: YOU dON’T? THEN WHY’VE YOU BEEN TALKING TO HIM ALL THIS TIME?   
P:tt: simple.   
P:tt: to get to Roxy.   
TG: HOLY SHIT   
TG: BUT ROSE   
TG: YOU dON’T EVEN KNOW HER   
P:tt: of that i’m well awaRe, no thanks to you, bRotheR, might i Remind.  
TG: I dONT UNdERSTANd   
P:tt: Roxy is voidboRn dave, she’s the only thing i cant /see/   
P:tt: do you have any idea what that’s like foR me?  
P:tt: how Romantic that is?  
P:tt: eveRy possibility is foReveR laid baRe befoRe me dave, and i steeR the ship down the RiveRs of my choosing. Not even diRk can outmaneuveR my vision and evade my gaze.   
P:tt: i am lightboRn.  
P:tt: and foR so long, i have gazed into the depths of the daRkness, wondeRing,   
P:tt: what wRithing unfathomable beasts in the vastness of untraceable space luRk beyond the Reaches of my psyche?   
P:tt: i want to finally see dave, the Realm of possibilities that lay beyond my Reach.   
P:tt: im going to to keep talking to her dave. i’m going to make her see that we belong togetheR, heR and i.   
P:tt: -Romantically speaking, bRotheR. don’t woRRy, youR hand aRe still the only one’s i’d hold; i’m going to seduce the possibilities between us. I want to leaRn what love is.  
TG: ATTA GIRL  
TG: JUST AS I FIGUREd. JUST PROMISE ME I’LL BE YOUR SATAN CLAWS, dROPPING dOPE METAL O’S dOWN YOU AND YOUR GIRL’S CHUTES COME THE MATRIMONIAL dAY   
TG: I WANNA RUB IT INTO dIRK’S FACE WHEN HE FINdS OUT HIS SIS IS MACKIN ON MY SIS ANd HE STILL CANT GET HIS GROSS ACTIN MACK ON ME   
P:tt: you’ll be lucky if theRe'll be anything left of you to mack /on/ after i get done with you, mR. stRideR.   
P:tt: now, my office, if you please?  
P:tt: i do believe you have some apologizing to do. 

P:TT HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

TG: DAMN   
TG HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 


End file.
